The rollercoaster starts from the 1st (in our case 2nd, 3rd, 4th) pregnancy tests. Are we really pregnant, are we still? Is the pregnancy going to last? When is morning sickness going to kick in.
Then it does - oh the nausea, it makes you feel rubbish, so tired, so exhausted, just wanted to go to bed until it passes. At one stage I seriously wondered whether I could actually make it through to end of morning sickness, I felt so rough. All even harder when you have a toddler running around to look after, then she got sick and ended up in hospital and I had to be strong for her, then I got flu too whilst Amy was still in hospital. Went on antibiotics, the turmoil you feel just taking paracetamol, is it going to damage the baby. Then the panics about not eating healthily enough, I am struggling to eat fruit - same happened with Amy.
Then we had the 12 week scan to make sure all was ok - date comes back a week earlier than I thought - 10th May due, the consultant chat where what happens next was after 12 week scan and the likelihood of a second prem baby.
To add to all this stress, I was being made redundant and going through the consultation process during morning sickness, finally being told once Amy was out of hospital and I had returned from time off with her and from flu, that I was being made redundant at Christmas. I was though offered a temporary job until my maternity leave kicks in, then I will get redundancy pay at the end of my maternity leave.
Had a midwife appointment and heard the babies heart beat - so lovely. All growing well. Then had to choose whether to have the swine flu jab, risks but risks of getting swine flu out weighed the worries over the jab.
Then the rollercoaster of internal scans started - my first scan at 17 weeks shows that my cervix is shortened, 2.4cm - which is a real worry. Makes me slow down, stop lifting anything heavy, Daddy has to take over vacuum cleaning, lifting etc. Then my next scan at 19 weeks (a week before Christmas) I worry that my cervix will stop us going to France, if it goes below 2cm then surgery has to happen or progesterone supplements or bed rest! But my 19 week scan shows the first one was done wrongly (or a miracle has happened) and I am actually 3.9cm! Which is a relief.
I am now trying to relax, enjoying the lovely little kicks and the growing belly. I have my next scan at nearly 21 weeks - on 31st December, that is an internal, anomaly scan to check all is ok and a consultant appointment. Just hoping we can go into the new year with positive news about the pregnancy!!!
